Saturday, January 29, 2005

WTF was *THAT*??!

Wow - I was just watching some sort of tribute to Michael Jackson (I couldn't help it, Elizabeth Taylor was sitting by him) and Liza Minelli sung to him....Giiiirrrllll is fucked *UP*! All I could think was "what a train wreck...she's all hopped up on something." And, of course, "Oh, Elizabeth is blonde now??" But, my lord, how some people fall down hill. Poor Liza. I do have to say I liked her in a 1960s movie she was in, but I can't think of it now...she ckept calling everyone a weirdo. Yep, kharma's a bitch.

Happy Family (Elizabeth, what are you thinking??)

boy, interrupted

I borrowed friend Angela's Sex and the City, Season 6. I think I just saw my favorite episode -- #84, "Boy, Interrupted." In it, the girls all kind of revert back to high school when Carrie's high school boyfriend, Jeremy (David Duchovny), is in town. Miranda feels awkward wondering if a "boy" likes her or a Knicks cheerleader; Samantha can't get in to the club she wants to be in, so uses a fake ID; Charlotte is a cheerleader for her friends and gossiper (and fag-hag); Stanford goes to the prom and has boy problems....I love it. Especially the prom scene at the end where they play that song by Chicago, "If you leave me'll take away the very heart of me....ohhhwhoooohhhh..." Hahaha I'm a geek, I know.

Carrie and Jeremy

The girls and Stanford gossip by the pool

Am I the only one who is obsessed with this show.....??

Friday, January 28, 2005

Roxy Marquis - The Blonde Bad-ass of Minneapolis

In my 101 comments, I mentioned that my favorite drag queen is Roxy Marquis - she's probably the most well-known in Minneapolis. I've said hi to her a couple times, but I actually feel like she really *is* Madonna when I'm at the Gay '90s drag shows (they're page is under construction, I think), so I'm too star-struck to talk much! Anyway, even my straight guy friends are amazed when they've seen her perform. She's cool shit.

As Madonna:

Workin' 9 to 5 as Dolly Parton:

I'm starting to come back....

Okay - I guess my situation isn't that destitute. In fact, I think it will improve my life. You see, I am currently in the running for a lot of new jobs and have already been told by one company that I'll be getting an offer on Monday. At each interview, I make it a point to say that I need an autonomous environment where micro-management does not exist. In response, I've been told by several that they want to let their people do what works for them to be productive - now this is a healthy environment...The job that will be offered to me on Monday allows the flexibilty to work from home or go to the office (in a far away from me suburb, Woodbury)...would be working remotely w/ a team on the west coast who are recruiting for a healthcare company. Some travel to San Fran is most-likely required and reward trips to Napa Valley are common (of which, the Minnesota recruiters also attend). I think I like the sound of this gig....EXCEPT the base pay is much lower than I'm used to, so am trying to negotiate that. I also have a few other options in the works, one of which is downtown Minneapolis and a young, hip environment, which I'd like immensely. SO...things are looking up. I still need to quit procrastinating and finish my unemployment paperwork, though, so I can get some money to make up for the probably 2 weeks of not earning anything. I'm happy that I'm out of that Nazi regime of the old company and the stupid, evil, geek boss. I now hate all geeks for a while until my hatred for him subsides....

My survey says:
I am nerdier than 3% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

Monday, January 24, 2005

Kiddo is Temporarily Out of Commission

In case anyone cares, I know you do, I haven't been able to get to my blogging obsession lately and it will probably be a few more days until things are back as they should be...I lost my job and am focusing all energies on regaining employment, so when my life less resembles a train wreck, I will be happily commenting and creating my own posts again...

In the words of Monique from Queens of Comedy, "Girl...Fuck that job!" (You must rent this DVD if haven't seen already)

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

101 random facts about Kiddo

I'm jumping on the bandwagon and doing my own little version, for the others have inspired me...I have a feeling most of this will be pretty self-deprecating. Ugh...I'm going to be here all night.

1. My first name is my Grandma's maiden name
2. My middle name was my great-grandpa's first name
3. I think when a lady has a kid "out of wedlock", the kid should have her last name (where did that come from?!)
4. I was obsessed with Wonder Woman and Charlie's Angels and the Bionic Woman (Jamie Summers) as a child.
5. I had a Wonder Woman coloring book and a Wonder Woman birthday cake at age 5.
6. I used to make my brother be the Nazis and I'd be Wonder Woman
7. I come from a family of 8 children - I'm the youngest
8. I grew up in a small town in southeast Minnesota - Dodge Center
9. I am fascinated by old yearbooks (mostly high school)
10. I wanted to have the same powers as Samantha Stevens on Bewitched
11. I hid in the bushes instead of going to the first day of T-Ball (my Mom yelled at me when I came back after 10 minutes saying it was over already..."Get out there and play ball!!!"
12. I like going to sports events now - pretty much just to drink beer and people watch, but I kind of get in to the game too
13. I started smoking when I was 14
14. The first time I drank, I was 13 (small towns...)
15. I am a clothes hoarde and get sick of them right away
16. I've only purchased one item, that I can think of, not on sale - ever.
17. I have a freakish memory for dates or years something happened and birthdays
18. I used to draw a lot -- could pretty much replicate a black & white photo
19. I should have used my creativite/artistic side in my career
20. I wish I would have become a graphic designer or interior designer
21. My dad is dead
22. I hated math & science in school
23. I was quite good at English & history
24. My brother and I had lots of parties in high school - never got caught (family had 2 houses in different towns)
25. George Washington is my cousin - his aunt is my great-great......grandma
26. I am also related to Franklin Pierce, Stonewall Jackson and the Andrews Sisters
27. My last name is supposed to be Anderson, but there were too many of them in Sweden, so some of them had to change
28. My last name was borrowed from a long-ago very noble family in Sweden
29. I am a genealogy nerd in case you couldn't tell
30. I planned my five-year reunion and will probably have to do my ten-year too
31. I think I might be related to Stone Gossard of Pearl Jam. Gossard is my Mom's maiden name.
32. I like old stuff to put in my house - my whole family is antique/collectibles junkies
33. I've gotten naughty with a football coach, a cop, a mechanic, a carpenter, a landscaper, college baseball player, construction guy- I think I see a pattern here...
34. I've dated 3-4 guys who were in the Navy and 1 Army
35. If my family ever reads this, I will be ex-communicated
36. Blair Warner was my favorite on "The Facts of Life"
37. The best fight I ever saw was between two 14 year-old girls (blood involved)
38. I had a Cross Colours shirt in 9th grade
39. My friends think it's "funny" that I'm a "blogger"
40. The first CD I ever got was the soundtrack to "Great Balls of Fire"
41. The first tape I ever got was Michael Jackson's Thriller
42. I love crazy old Southern woman movies
43. Somewhere in Minneapolis exists a tape of me, at 4, singing "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" and I couldn't pronounce my 'R's
44. My brother's friends and I seriously invented the "not so much" phrase
45. I was the first kid in my town to "french roll" the pants (college sister taught me how in 1988 - 4th grade)
46. I don't like my job most days but am still glad to have it
47. I believe in ghosts and aliens
48. I've been fascinated by the Titanic since 1985
49. I can't stand little kids singing (like in talent shows when they try to trill their voice - think Star Search)
50. I can't stand little kids in local commercials
51. Twin Citiesans: that girl fromt the Watsons commercials bugs the shit out of me..."It's HOT!!" *slap*
52. I don't trust people who never, ever drink (& never have)
53. I'm drawn to catty women
54. I don't feel guilty about sleeping all day on the weekends
55. I changed high schools for one semester
56. I was in two musicals in high school - "Fiddler on the Roof" and "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" -- I was just an extra
57. I totaled my '88 Jeep Cherokee in high school by hitting a deer
58. I also crashed into a parked car, left and said that someone hit me
59. I worked at a convenience store thru high school and college
60. I don't like much red meat except for hamburger (pot roast & steak -- no thanks)
61. I will usually never leave the house without showering - ever
62. I first got served at a bar when I was 17
63. I had a fake ID from Georgia freshman year of college - it didn't even look like a real Georgia license
64. His name was Anthony and he was born in Sept. 1972
65. It got taken away when I said I was class of '92 and the capital of Georgia was Atlanta...even though 2 seconds later I said Savannah
66. I won the spelling bee in 5th grade
67. I hate grocery shopping
68. I hate ironing
69. I want a maid
70. I used to tell strangers that I was here from Maine visiting family
71. My college friend and I used to pretend that we were engaged and arguing about our wedding plans at bars (like who was going to be in the wedding)
72. Another friend and I pretended that we were married, arguing and visiting Minnesota from our plantation in Louisiana (our names were Babs and Gavin)
73. Everyone always believed us
74. I like to lie, I guess
75. I love Mac & Cheese with salsa in it
76. I used to be a server at my hometown cafe and Applebees in Crestwood, IL
77. I had tickets to Jerry Springer and couldn't go (when I lived in Chicago) b/c my friends wound up having to work
78. Two guys I knew in college pretended to be gay and were on Jerry
79. One of my favorite college bartenders plays that hotel bartender in "Drop Dead Gorgeous" - he is now a bartender at The Newsroom in Minneapolis
80. My friend Erin (Babs) kicked down the door to get in to an after-bar one night
81. We were asked to leave after my friend Becky fell out the window
82. I think I might be part owner of the GAP
83. I'm still friends with my first real boyfriend (together 2.5 yrs)
84. I probably sound like a ho, but would rather have a boyfriend
85. I hate Sundays because I get very lonely
86. I love the drag queen Roxy Marquee at the Gay '90s in Minneapolis - especially when she does Madonna and Dolly Parton
87. I always tip Nina D'Angelo when she does the Wonder Woman routine
88. I love Beverly D'Angelo
89. The first person I came out to was friend Jill at 20 - her brother is gay
90. I told my Mom when I was 21
91. She cried, suggested therapy and sent me a Peanuts card a few days later with Sally on it about unconditional love -- I still have it
92. I've still never told my sisters, but I think they know
93. I've told two of my brothers
94. I wouldn't take a pill to make myself straight
95. I'm socially liberal and politically conservative
96. I never want to live in Rochester, Minnesota again -- horrid place for gays
97. My sister works at Mayo Clinic in Rochester
98. I almost have enough frequent flyer miles for a free trip
99. I want to visit my friend Meg in NYC (well, Brooklyn)
100. I'm very self-consious and shy around new people
101. I'm tired as hell and going to bed

1990 - 1991

Once again, VH-1 is featuring comedians and actors commenting on their nostalgic memories of days gone by..."I Love the '90s - Part Deux" is running this week. Watching 1990 and 1991 last night inspired some of my own memories of those years.

I was a very bratty, popular 7th grader during the 1990-1991 school year. I was entitled to...after all, the most popular guy, Scott, who was much more nice, athletic and "developed" than I, was my best friend. This was also my first major crush. (Needs moment to sigh and reflect - gain composure - at the memory of him)

Favorite clothes:
Levis jeans (my Mom wouldn't buy Girbauds for $60) - I had at least two pair (as well as some stonewashed Bugle Boys and probably Union Bay too). We'd wear them "french-rolled" (some people say pegged or tight-rolled) with Nike Airs (Scott had the Air Jordans) or else w/ no socks and boat shoes. We made nooses out of the laces on each side instead of tying them. Very cool look. Sometimes we'd pin our pants, but usually girls did that. Also very popular were Nike wind jackets. I loved mine. It was baby blue and navy blue. I'd wear it with an Air Jordan T-shirt (I had 2 or 3) or Carolina Tarheels T-shirt (one of two that I owned). It was all about Michael Jordan. It was also popular at my school to wear satin jackets - very '80s, I know, but Scott wore one sometimes for some reason. I stole one my older sister wore from her high school basketball days. I scraped off the "ISSA" and went by "MEL". Duh. The surfer hair look was in. We'd try to make one side stand up like a wall with the bangs flowing to other side - even better if the bangs then hung over one eye. I hate to think what I looked like by the end of the school day...

My bedroom:
Posters of Michael Jordan and a 1991 Air Jordan calendar that came in a Wheaties box with all my friends' birthdays written on it. A black, front-loading Magnavox CD player. I was the first to have a CD player in my room...very cool. My favorite CDs were probably Nelson (what was I thinking), C+C Music Factory (ugh)...probably some others, equally as horrible...oh, we really liked the "The Doors" soundtrack too. Playing Truth or Dare once, we made friend Stanley dance alone to "Light My Fire" and that song is about 8 minutes long. He wound up doing some pretty good moves. Very popular was Vanilla Ice and his "Ice Ice, Baby" song. The dance floor was packed when that song came on. I used to tape the "Top 9 at 9" on Rochester's teen station, KROC. Each night, some lucky listener who dialed at the presise moment got to review the list of the first 8 already played and announce the #1 song of the night. Then they'd get to say hi to their friends. I had a big list written out of friends, but never got to read my list...but I listened to the tape on the bus to school & home each day. I distinctly remember "Joyride" by Roxette and "More Than Words" by Extreme. While listening, I'd contrive how I'd manage to sit next to Scott on the way to our basketball or baseball games. Once, the whole busload of 7th & 8th grade boys was singing at the top of our lungs along to Madonna's "Like a Prayer."

Blossom and Fresh Prince of Bel Air were favorites. I'm sure Golden Girls was still an oldtime favorite on Saturday nights. Other than that, I don't remember much TV. Oh, Doogie Howser was still watched a lot, as was Wonder Years. I probably still enjoyed The Cosby Show and Cheers, too. I remember spending MANY evenings on the phone with Scott or Kevin or Tim. The boys talked on the phone just as much, if not more, than the girls. Man, we were very catty boys. Mean (except Scott wasn't).

Yep, I had some back then. The year started with me dating a (gasp) 6th grader, Michele! We made out at a football game behind the bus barn. Our song was "Unchained Melody" from Ghost. I think we "went out" for a couple weeks. Then I "went out" with Christina B. for one school afternoon. We started going out during lunch and broke up by 7th hour. Bitch. Then Heidi was my girlfriend for about a month or more. She was bestfriends with Scott's girlfriend, Carin. So it was a match made in heaven. She'd put her empty pop can in my locker after b-ball practice and vice-versa (Scott and Carin did the same). Why, I don't know. But we each had a lot of empty Mountain Dew and Sprite cans in our lockers. We never kissed because she was sick during the Valentines dance. My locker was next to Scott's...I had to move mine because our last names weren't even close. I don't know how that happened - you'd think it would be so obvious that I had a crush on him.

So, that's pretty much 7th grade (and 1990-1991) for me. I don't specifically remember going to any movies or I'd talk about those too. I do remember watching "Dances With Wolves" at Scott's house one day. Later we tried to snowboard down the big hill in his yard and, of course, I fell and twisted my knee in about 3 seconds. How I was friends with all the jocks is beyond me...

Not my friends or me, but could be - Net image of someone's 13th bday in 1991 - notice the Bulls on TV

Also not I, but someone's 7th grade picture from 1990-91 - very similar

Monday, January 17, 2005


Yeah, so I'm just laying around this morning when my phone rings at about 10:00. Co-worker Angela called to say, "where are you?" I thought we had the day off today! It seems that most people have a holiday today with it being Martin Luther King day. I've never had to work this day before, I don't think. Oops...Didn't get to work until noon. Bright guy, I am.

Friday, January 14, 2005

This is uninhabitable

I've been dealing with Minnesota winters since 1978. In fact, my Dad got stuck in a snowdrift on the way to the hospital when I was ready to pop out. Didn't help that we lived near Grand Forks, ND (not too far from Canada) at the time. But, c' 15 below (without windchill) really necessary?? This is horrid! I don't even want to know what it *feels* like with the windchill -- 15 below is bad enough. So cold that I filled my water bottle this morning, went out to the car (which was grumpy about having to start), got a few miles down the road and the cap had almost frozen to the bottle. Thank god this only lasts a few days each winter - maybe a week total. The summer heat/humidity is bad too, but at least it doesn't melt stuff like this cold freezes stuff. I'm going to the liquor store after work and not emerging again until Monday morning b/c it's going to be a frozen hell in Minnesota for the next couple days. Yick.

A very cold day in Minneapolis with part of downtown in background - desolate

Why didn't they have this in the early '80s??

So, I went to the dentist last night to get two of my old fillings replaced. The old ones were starting to crack my teeth. Ummm....first, does this mean I'm getting old, when fillings need replacing?? Second, since when did fillings come in white? All of the ones I got in the 1980s (I loved candy - went to the candy store every single solitary day after stealing 50 cents or $1 from my Mom) were silver. I even got a filling in 1995 that was silver. Since when have they been white?? Not complaining - they rule. Except, of course, my two new white fillings are on the upper half, where nobody ever sees. I do have to say, though, that the process is more unpleasant than silver fillings. It seemed to take much longer than I remember and who really wants to sit there for an hour with their jaw open? Then, they keep pointing this laser gun thingy (no joke) in your mouth, pointed at the new filling. When the doctor started to drill out the old silver, I jumped - the sound startled me. That never happened when I was a kid. Is it possible that I somehow grew a fear of the dental drill as an adult? Plus which, I don't appreciate being laughed at by the dentist and his assistant (because I jumped at the sound of drill). Anyway, once they got the old ones out of there, I was astounded to feel (with my tongue) how huge the gap was like a big, jagged hole in the tooth - like the entire core of the tooth was gone. Wow, I *must* have eaten too many Jolly Rancher sticks in 1985. Really very unpleasant experience all together. Except I do like having white fillings.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Brett Favre and Olivia Newton John go well together

Okay, I’ve been super-busy at work this week…but I just thought of something kinda funny from Sunday that I should’ve posted on Monday. Oh well. So, I went to a “special” bar called The Bolt with two friends on Sunday evening for showtunes/beer bust. Every Sunday, they play scenes from campy movies, musicals, TV shows, etc. on all the TV screens (with all you can drink beer for $8). Quite entertaining. Anyway, *this* particular Sunday, one TV did not have the showtunes on…”what was on the one lone TV in the corner”, you ask?? Where else but a gay bar on showtunes night do you see Olivia Newton John (Xanadu) on one TV screen and a Vikings/Packers game on the other…?? Craziness. Not that I mind getting a glimpse here & there of hot Brett Favre. Also, where else but a “special” bar would you walk in, only to find every single person singing in unison to “Nine to Five” by Dolly Parton?? Yes, we’re a musical people. That movie rules. Dolly always plays the brassy little blonde…because, hey – that’s what she is! I also like that drunk lady who says, “Atta girl…” all the time. I want to work with her. Hot Babe is *so* going to turn in to that lady if she doesn’t get to wear a tiara at work.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

My blog is international now

Guess what? Remember my post about my last name and Rex Gisslen? From the '80s hair band, Shanghai? Yeah - he e-mailed me! Here's what he wrote:

Hello. Im Rex Gisslén. You have a very nice homepage, and a very nice name :-). How did you found my pictures? Actually Ive been working with some guys from the states, "The Crickets" that used to play with Buddy Holly, ever heard bout them? Do you want some more information about Gisslén from Sweden I´ll be glad to help you.
Best Regards Mr Rex Gisslén

Wow - I'm famous, kinda.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

I'm a Night Owl, Dammit!

Morning people are trying to control my life, and thus - making me quite the angry Kiddo. So, on Monday night, I'm peacefully watching a DVR'd episode of "Queer as Folk" from Season 2. It's about 11:30 p.m. They get to a scene in the club, Babylon, so naturally it's a little louder than when they're just hanging out somewhere else. I mean, clubs are loud. So, there's a knock at my door. Some granola-eater hippy guy is there in a horrid green T-shirt and he has gross, snarly black hair that's in desperate need of a cut (or a good pulling). He says, "Umm...could you turn down your stereo or TV or whatever...?" And I, trying to be a good neighbor, say "Oh, yeah -- sorry about that!" So, I do turn it down b/c I probably did have it a little louder than needed. Then I thought it was funny that he thought I might possibly be sitting there in gym pants and T-shirt, alone, listening to club dance music on my "stereo" (I do not own a stereo). Because, who am I, Napoleon Dynamite? So, now I'm starting to think -- "yeah, these walls are pretty thin -- I can tell when the neighbors have people over - or even when they cough, laugh, when their phone rings, etc..." Then, I start to think, "Uh ohhh....Oh, god. Please tell me the neighbor's bedroom isn't next to my bedroom b/c that guy from Brainerd and I were kinda loud a few weeks ago...oh no! How embarassing -- now they think of me as the sex neighbor. They see me in the hall and sneer. It's going to be like Sex and the City when the neighbors yell at Samantha and tell her she's bad for the building...kill me now..." Anyway, with all these unpleasantries already in the air, I decide to make an effort to keep the TV turned down and to make sure I don't leave for the weekend with my alarm still set to go off each morning; turn down the bathroom radio in the morning, etc. So, Tuesday, I didn't even have the TV on past 9:30. Then last night it was on super-quiet -- I could barely even hear it in my bedroom. This morning, as I'm leaving for work, there's a note under my door (great):

"Could you PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE keep your TV and/or stereo turned down past 1o:30? I, and some others, have to work very early in the morning and the walls here are very thin." I'm mad. My stuff wasn't even on the past two nights, jerk!! So I threw the note in the middle of the hallway and wished my shoes had mud on them so I could leave a big footprint on it, telling him what I think of his stupid note on stupid recycled paper...or leave my own:

A. I don't own a stereo; B. You're not my roommate, you're my neighbor - mind your own f'ing business; C. I get up early too; D. I pay my rent and live here just like you; E. I rarely have anyone over, let alone several, making me pretty low-key; F. Rent a house if you need such quiet; G. I don't need to change my life around because you're a morning person; H. You're not the fucking boss of me!!!!!!! (silent scream)

There -- I feel better. Why do morning people think everyone needs to conform to their schedule?? That really bugs the shit out of me. At work -- I just want to yell, "You WANT to be here at 8:00 and leave at 5:00 b/c you have a family to go home to and eat with and yada yada yada...I'm single, I don't care if I get home at 8:00 at night -- quit f'ing making me conform to your morning lifestyle -- I'm on salary and work 40+ hours per week anyway!!!" Grrr....

Okay -- so, yeah....I'm a night owl, dammit. Doesn't mean I can't be productive -- doesn't mean I'm the devil - although these bitches are gonna see the devil Kiddo soon if they don't get off my sh1t!! haha

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

I'm a Nomad

I was just thinking about where I've lived since college -- I have moved more than anyone I know, I think. Let's review, shall we?

1. January 2000: Living in a dump apartment in Winona (college) with friend Jocelyn - but spending a majority of the time at my boyfriend's

2. May 2000: Graduate college and live with boyfriend Chris for the summer

3. October 2000: Get an apartment in Rochester with friend Kari (started at Keane in July)

4. August 2001: Getting laid off soon - move home to Lake City

5. September 2001: Move clothes to Oak Lawn, IL to stay with friends for a Chicago internship

6. January 2002: Back to Lake City

7. February 2002: Move to an apartment in Rochester with friend Mandy (Keane needs me back)

8. May 2002: Laid off again - Move to friend Amanda's townhouse in Plymouth

9. September 2002: Can't find a job - move home and start grad school back in Winona

10. November 2002: Move to my first roommate-free apartment in Winona

11. April 2004: Keane wants me back (February) - get an apartment in Rochester

12. November 2004: Keane tosses me - new job in Twin Cities - move to Minneapolis

See, told ya...Anybody else out there who's moved 12 times in 5 years??!

Who knew?!

ABC News named Bloggers as the "People of the Year"....WTF? Why?? I guess all Bloggers aren't posting about bad dates (or being ditched), pin-stripe pants and Quaker Instant Oatmeal.

Oh well - I'm glad *some* people are covering the important issues. I'm more of the pop-culture type, I guess.

So - carry on...

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Now I can eat breakfast!

Every morning I hit the snooze button until the last possible moment. Thus, I never eat breakfast, which is bad. I think eating breakfast can help your metabolism speed up or something. Anyway, I discovered Quaker Instant Oatmeal recently and it is the shizzle. Take a box to work with you - all you need is one the trusy little packets from the box, a coffee cup, a microwave and some water and voila! Breakfast is served, man. Tastes pretty good too, but I recommend using a little more than 2/3 cup of water - otherwise it's a little mushy.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Uh ohhhhh.....

Dan posted an article about someone who infiltrated those Christian groups that try to convert the gays. Apparently the bible says this in 1 Corinthians:

"Those who won't inherit the Kingdom of God: the sexually immoral, idolaters, male prostitutes, the homosexual, drunkards, the greedy ...."

This is not a good sign for me. Let's see....
Sexually immoral.?? Ummm - yep, done that several times.
Idolaters?? Hmmm. I kind of worship beings like Nick Lachey and such. It's not like I pray to them...does that count?? Then there's Ty Pennington. And Chris Meloni. And Liz Taylor. Oh, yikes...
Male prostitutes?? Phew! Don't have that under my belt.
The Homosexual? Uh oh.
Drunkards? Yeah - yep, pretty sure that one's been taken care of.
The greedy? Got it.

Okay - so I guess the bible's definition of who should be in hell is pointing right at me. Well, at least most of my friends will be there too! Hey, if you get there before I do, I'll have a Jack & Coke. Thanks.

Scary Pancakes

In one of HotBabe's posts from last week, I concurred that Michael Meyers is very frightening. In fact, I went so far as to declare him "scary pancakes."

I'm not sure what it means or where, exactly, this phrase came from. My sisters have been saying it for as long as I remember...I'll have to ask them and get back to you on this one, HotBabe and DenverBoy...

I laughed hard b/c a friend of mine in high school used to pretend that we were in a scary movie, doing the really stupid "fall down while being chased" and hiding in the most dumb spots ever.

I do have to say, though, that once I really thought I was going to get stabbed by some creepy intruder. In the fall of 1991 or so, I went to visit my friends Carin and Gretchen, who lived a block away and were sisters. Carin was in my grade and Gretchen was 2 years older -- both cute, popular girls. So, Gretchen was home alone and listening to some kind of weird, psychadelic music. We were talking quietly in the den of their nice, early 1900s house. Suddenly there was a rap at the window and we both jumped around - Gretchen also yelped. The next second the same bashing sound was at the back kitchen door. Again, screaming like teenage girls...followed by "what the FUC*?!?!" Then a more gentle knock at the front door. We went to investigate....the front door was open a crack. Gretchen kind of peeked out the door window and all of a sudden let out a brief noise and slumped down to the floor. Petrified, I hadn't a clue what to do...all I could think of was "she's stabbed - hide." No, not "help her" or "call for help"...not run out the back door screaming....just "hide." So, I turned around and darted to the dumbest place possible, UP STAIRS to the bedrooms. I mean, there's no escape from there, except out a window - only to land and break your leg, making you incapable of running from Michael. While frantically darting around searching, I heard her scream "you FUC*ERS!" It was two guys in the grade ahead of me. At least they were cute. But, yeah - after that I could kind of understand the stupidity of teen horror movie victims...after all, I was almost one myself. Now that was scary pancakes.

Welcoming 2005

Yeah, pretty uneventful New Year's. Probably the best thing to happen was that I had Friday off, so was finally able to go out on a Thursday and not worry about having to wake up (or not wake up) the next morning. Began the evening having a few Capt.Cokes and watching Boogie Nights w/ a couple friends. I love Mark Wahlberg. Then we went to 19 Bar. All I know is that I wound up breaking one of my favorite ornaments that I set out instead of hanging on the tree. Damn Capt. Cokes and beer & consuming too much of both...Why don't I ever heed Sandy Dennis' advice from Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and "never mix, never worry!"

Spent Friday...not really sure. I know I was up for a while and went back to bed...Woke up at 9:00 p.m. By that time, some of my plans had fallen through b/c people thought I had decided not to do anything, it was so late. Now that's healthy...sleeping ALL MORNING, AFTERNOON and EVENING. Great. So, I went to Porter's w/ friend Bill - he was invited to their private party b/c he and his friends have been regulars for a few years. Porters is the gayest little straight dive bar on Nicollet Ave. Big group of queer regulars there. They had some sort of casino thing going on and I kind of learned how to play poker...I couldn't tell you which version we were even playing. I lost thousands of free Porter dollars...and we didn't even get there until 11:15.

Midnight came and I was reminded of the night 11 years before when I was falling face first into a bathtub water spout. This was the first midnight in *years* that I wasn't pleasantly buzzed/warm during the first moments of the new year. That, of course, changed as the night progressed at an after-party, where I was served a seemingly bottomless cup of vodka/Squirt. We wound up playing some card game called Tens -- and I wound up sitting there in my boxers. I was just glad that I wore the "cute" ones...

Saturday was spent recovering during the afternoon. Then Bill and I watched the entire first season of Sex and the City on DVR. Of course, we had a few beers while watching that since it was Saturday night and, well, that show just calls for drinking. We went to last call at the 19 Bar, and I was too tired to do anything after that.

FINALLY, Sunday was spent de-Christmasing my apartment. Now I feel like I want to re-arrange my living room...I don't know if I have the strength.