Dream Board.....Really?

I DVR Ms. Oprah every day. God knows I've grown up with Oprah, but I really only started watching her in the past several months....when my life really fell apart.

No, I am not a screaming, suburban white woman....Nor a teary-eyed single mother of two (nor any teary-eyed person, for that matter).

I do, however, sometimes get inspired by our moral gatekeeper: Oprah.

Love her!

Ya know what?? I actually did get inspired by the whole "dream board" thing. Seriously.

The idea comes from a book called The Promise. The jist is to envision what you want in life and then make a bulletin board or list with those things on it...somewhere where you'll see it everyday. Then you are always thinking about the possibilities and you naturally start creating a path that leads to those good outcomes.

I guess my upstairs neighbor watches Oprah, because his list is coming true for him every weekend....He's either a serial killer or a hot dude because there is always some sort of female moaning going on at all hours of the night up there (note to self: if a few Minneapolis women go missing....we know where to look). I'm guessing he envisioned all this lust for himself and it's clearly coming true (unless he's killing people, of course). Sidenote: Wow -- Is there a porn movie being filmed upstairs? Oh -- somebody just stomped, or fell off a bed.....or got violently shoved on the floor. It's not for me to say....

Back to the point: I think my own Oprahfication is starting to pay off!

Leading up to Oprah's Dream Board:

I had the worst late 2007 ever. I got fired for no real reason (I really wasn't given a reason and was performing well -- not to use the "gay card," but my boss really was a homophobe). Anyway, after being fired, I got the attitude of "well, just fuck everything then!" THEN, my boyfriend (the first I've actually cared about in 6 years) dumped my ass....for having a "fuck it" attitude after being fired. THEN -- I got a new job that is....well, just punishment for being a negative person.

And then along came Oprah.

I saw that "dream board" episode and just got typically bitchy / bitter about it. Here I am, laying on the couch in 3-day old pajamas with M&Ms and booze bottles all over the goddamn living room thinking, "Yeah right, lady...."

But then I saw some people who really felt that envisioning their happiness helped them (I know -- puke, right?). But they did make me start to think...

Well, I thought I can either sit here and continue being miserable and bitchy or do something about it.

I made that damn list. Here are the first few items:

1. Wake up on Monday and not scream bloody murder

2. Make good commission (and therefore, quit worrying about bills / money every damn day)

And guess what?? Two weeks later, I was connected to a new job opportunity out of the blue by a former colleague. They found me...I wasn't even looking! They asked if I would come in and meet them....everything sounded great and exactly what's missing from current job. The meeting went well and long story short, they made me an offer to join their team and I accepted! The base salary and commission plan are both better than what I had at the job that fired me for no reason....I just "know" this is going to work out for me (even though the job isn't in downtown Minneapolis, where I prefer to work, it's in a suburb, but oh well)!

And that's the first of many things to come, I think. For instance (after landing a new job that doesn't make me want to slit my wrists every morning), now I will focus on the rest of my list:

3. Buy a condo downtown (with a view) - until I can afford a real house.....

4. Buy furniture and get rid of the "1976 American Garage Sale" theme that I've had since college

5. Meet a good looking, classy, smart, stylish, fun, charismatic guy who thinks I'm the one --- and who would never get rid of me....even if I ever happen to be in the gutter

6. Eat more of what my upstairs neighbor is eating (unless it's va-jay-jay or humans)

7. Get a cool old house in the Kenwood neighborhood

8. Drive a black Mercedes

9. Retire at or before 60

10. Not die alone


So.....Thanks, Oprah! Now I have a headache from forcing myself to be happy....it's an acquired feeling that I'm sure I'll get used to!