Monday, January 03, 2005

Uh ohhhhh.....

Dan posted an article about someone who infiltrated those Christian groups that try to convert the gays. Apparently the bible says this in 1 Corinthians:

"Those who won't inherit the Kingdom of God: the sexually immoral, idolaters, male prostitutes, the homosexual, drunkards, the greedy ...."

This is not a good sign for me. Let's see....
Sexually immoral.?? Ummm - yep, done that several times.
Idolaters?? Hmmm. I kind of worship beings like Nick Lachey and such. It's not like I pray to them...does that count?? Then there's Ty Pennington. And Chris Meloni. And Liz Taylor. Oh, yikes...
Male prostitutes?? Phew! Don't have that under my belt.
The Homosexual? Uh oh.
Drunkards? Yeah - yep, pretty sure that one's been taken care of.
The greedy? Got it.

Okay - so I guess the bible's definition of who should be in hell is pointing right at me. Well, at least most of my friends will be there too! Hey, if you get there before I do, I'll have a Jack & Coke. Thanks.


  • If I get there first, I'll grab us a table with a great view of the lava stream. Your Jack & Coke will be waiting. If you get there first, I'll have jag- no need to mess around with just a shot, give me the whole bottle. Hell, if I'm already in hell, might as well get my drink on.

    By Blogger hot babe, at 5:23 PM  

  • Yeah, not to worry Kiddo, you'll be surrounded by friends. I've been told many times I'm going to hell-Zak and I lived together before marriage:0, we don't go to church, we swear, we drink, I sneak food into movie theaters, we're not republican, the list really goes on and on...except for that prostitution thing...
    Ummmmm...mind saving a seat for me as well? I'll have a whiskey sour.

    By Blogger lynne, at 6:30 PM  

  • Sure, Lynne -- I'll see *you* in hell. In fact, I'll reserve a whole banquet table. God knows it will be the only time all my friends and family are ever gathered in one place, being that gay marriage is illegal & all. HotBabe - would you like some Red Bull to go with that Jag?

    By Blogger Kiddo78, at 9:00 AM  

  • No Red Bull for me. I'm not one for the liquid viagra & lord knows I don't *need* it. Besides I think Red Bull is quite possibly the most disgusting beverage out there- after caster oil.

    Maybe we should reserve a whole hotel. I have a feeling we'll be surrounded with friends.

    By Blogger hot babe, at 5:11 PM  

  • Chris Meloni? Really?

    By Blogger dan, at 6:43 PM  

  • Okay - but the reservations better not be at La Quinta Inn & Suites -- that would *too* closely resemble hell for me.

    Dan - Yep, Chris Meloni from Law & Order SVU. Love him.

    By Blogger Kiddo78, at 6:56 PM  

  • You're taking that scripture and twisting it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:30 PM  

  • Hell is not a place where you "grab a table" and knock back a Jack and Coke. It's no joke.

    Hell is a lake of fire, a place of weeping and gnashing of teeth, of eternal anguish and suffering, darkness and thirst.

    All have sinned, and all have the opportunity to accept God's grace by believing that Jesus is the Son of God who fulfilled prophecy, who lived a sinless life, who took upon himself the punishment for our sins, died on the cross, was buried, and rose on the 3rd day - by confessing his name - by repenting of sin (daily) - by being baptized - by living a transformed life (through the power of the Holy Spirit).

    When Jesus returns, every knee will bow...and if I'm telling you the truth, what will you do then? If a person dies without believing and obeying Jesus Christ, there are no second chances. Think about it...and read that Bible.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:36 AM  

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