Bitches

I get it. I'm being punished for my blog hiatus. Seriously, if you have a memory of After School Specials (or what not) you can talk about it.

Speaking of After School Specials --- and I can't believe I didn't blog about this before ---

My friend Jerry died a few weeks ago. Jerry who was trying his damndest to be a couple with me....

He was 30. Apparently when he was college-aged, he was in to the "heroin." I guess they have to take Methodone forever afterwards (do they??) and that's what killed him all of the sudden - the Methodone. I just feel awful over it - especially since I ditched out on our plans the Saturday before he died. Ugh...

The worst part: His only two siblings died in a car accident last September. So now his parents live with the fact that all THREE of their children are dead.

No wonder I drink...

Who knew....I *DO* Have Emotions!!

I saw Latter Days the other night and actually shed a tear. That's right - I nearly cried. I don't know why, really...something about it was just really sad. And God bless Mary Kay Place as Elder Davis' mother. LOVE her. Especially in one of my all-time favorites, The Big Chill. Oddly enough, she couldn't get pregnant in that picture show and now she always plays someone's bitchy Mom - a bitchy Mormon Mom at that. She's pretty good in HBO's Big Love too. Have I blogged about that show yet?? I must do that sometime. Good stuff there in Utah. Wow - this was supposed to be a post about Latter Days and it turned in to one about Mormons and Mary Kay Place. Anyway - I thought Latter Days was better than Brokeback Mountain. I didn't even come very close to shedding a tear at the latter, in fact I laughed a couple times, but did come close to weeping during the former. Warning, though, there's some gay action in it...

After School....Specials??

I love NetFlix. I recently received After School Specials: Class of 1982 - 1986. At the time I thought they were about the best thing since Bewitched and Wonder Woman reruns. After watching them 20 years later, I have to wonder...who the HELL came up with this crap?! And how did they think their intended demographic (13-18 year olds, I imagine) would relate to it?!

The four I saw (none of which I remembered watching back then) were shit. I mean, really corny and I felt like covering my eyes out of sheer embarrassment the whole time.

One was about a girl named Susan and her turmoil over being placed in the same violin contest as her new beau. She had just moved to that town from Arkansas, and they really gave her one helluva caricature of a good ol' Southern gal. Her mother even clogged while she did a Hootenanny type violin/fiddle performance. Ugh. The worst part was that the title was "Two Loves for Jenny" instead of Susan. Duh.

The next dumbest went to the one called (get this) "Ace Hits the Big Time" about a 15'ish boy moving to the city and being afraid to go to school for fear of gangs beating him up. The gangs had original names like the Pythons and the Fangs (or something). The Fangs signature color was purple and they danced like West Side Story queens. They even had bandanas tied around the leg, bad high tops and head bands!! Oh, and who could forget the boy's solution to his dilemma? Just throw on a pirate eye patch ("Ahoy, matey!") and wear a satin jacket with a dragon on the back. Oh, and call yourself "Ace" instead of Hugo. Good one, Ace. The theme song was even worse. I mean B.A.D. I seriously gagged it was so ridiculous. Rob Stone played "Ace" - he was also in another one about teen suicide co-starring Malcolm Jamal Warner (aka Theo Huxtable).

Ughh...I'll never get that 4 hours back again. I DO have to say, though, SWEET mall hair, cords, tennies and tight jeans...

The ones I remember (and would like to see again) are the one about drunk driving with Michelle Pfeifer - that one scared me when I was little. I also remember the one about bulimia with a girl who ate a huge plate of peanut butter & jelly sammiches...and puked them up. Her sister was really concerned. Then, of course, the teen pregnancy thing. That was so overdone in the '80s.

Great - now I'm hungry and a'scared (of Michelle Pfeifer being run over by her boyfriend's Mustang, not so much of pregnant or vomitous teens).

Thanks A LOT, After School Special people!! And I mean it...

Ahhh...the good ol' days

This has been going around as an e-mail forward for quite some time, but thought it would be something to blog - since I'm dry in that department lately. It's an arcticle that was published in Good Housekeeping, May 1955.

For those who are married or demostically partnered, take heed, these are words to live by:



The Good Wife's Guide

- Have dinner ready, Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

- Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

- Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

- Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

- Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

- Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

- Be happy to see him.

- Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

- Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

- Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

- Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

- Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

- Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

- Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

- Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

- Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

- A good wife always knows her place.


My Mother, who got married in 1958 (at the tender age of almost 18), had this to say: "Boy, that is the way it was supposed to be! Can you imagine a 'modern' woman doing or thinking that today?! And now you know why some women ran away, drank, had affairs, and sometimes committed murder!!!! I did my best ---- !"

No wonder she was divorced in 1976!

Off to C.H.I.C.A.G.O.

Like Shirley McClain (sp) in Postcards From the Edge, "I'm still here!" Wow, it's been almost a whole month since I've posted - a new record for me, I think. I doubt if any of you are even still checking...

I'll catch a train to the airport in about an hour. Am flying to Chicago to see my old "sorority sister," Tara, who actually lives in the suburbs - the great Naperville. We'll be in the city tomorrow, though, where I can revisit my old stomping grounds of North Michigan Avenue, or the Magnificent Mile...I interned there five years ago and worked right next to the Wrigley Building and across from the Tribune Tower.

We'll have fun people watching and commenting on bad outfits and hairdos. We'll do happy hour in the city but will need to go back to Naperville to go out tomorrow night...It doesn't bother me, Tara and I have fun no matter where we are.

We became friends at the end of freshman year. She wound up leaving Winona during sophomore year, but we obviously stayed in close touch. We pretty much just laugh the whole time we're together whenever we hang out, which sadly isn't very much. Haven't seen her in two years, so this will be fun!

Maybe I'll start posting more soon...maybe...


:: Good ol Chicago ::