Sunday, August 27, 2006

After School....Specials??

I love NetFlix. I recently received After School Specials: Class of 1982 - 1986. At the time I thought they were about the best thing since Bewitched and Wonder Woman reruns. After watching them 20 years later, I have to wonder...who the HELL came up with this crap?! And how did they think their intended demographic (13-18 year olds, I imagine) would relate to it?!

The four I saw (none of which I remembered watching back then) were shit. I mean, really corny and I felt like covering my eyes out of sheer embarrassment the whole time.

One was about a girl named Susan and her turmoil over being placed in the same violin contest as her new beau. She had just moved to that town from Arkansas, and they really gave her one helluva caricature of a good ol' Southern gal. Her mother even clogged while she did a Hootenanny type violin/fiddle performance. Ugh. The worst part was that the title was "Two Loves for Jenny" instead of Susan. Duh.

The next dumbest went to the one called (get this) "Ace Hits the Big Time" about a 15'ish boy moving to the city and being afraid to go to school for fear of gangs beating him up. The gangs had original names like the Pythons and the Fangs (or something). The Fangs signature color was purple and they danced like West Side Story queens. They even had bandanas tied around the leg, bad high tops and head bands!! Oh, and who could forget the boy's solution to his dilemma? Just throw on a pirate eye patch ("Ahoy, matey!") and wear a satin jacket with a dragon on the back. Oh, and call yourself "Ace" instead of Hugo. Good one, Ace. The theme song was even worse. I mean B.A.D. I seriously gagged it was so ridiculous. Rob Stone played "Ace" - he was also in another one about teen suicide co-starring Malcolm Jamal Warner (aka Theo Huxtable).

Ughh...I'll never get that 4 hours back again. I DO have to say, though, SWEET mall hair, cords, tennies and tight jeans...

The ones I remember (and would like to see again) are the one about drunk driving with Michelle Pfeifer - that one scared me when I was little. I also remember the one about bulimia with a girl who ate a huge plate of peanut butter & jelly sammiches...and puked them up. Her sister was really concerned. Then, of course, the teen pregnancy thing. That was so overdone in the '80s.

Great - now I'm hungry and a'scared (of Michelle Pfeifer being run over by her boyfriend's Mustang, not so much of pregnant or vomitous teens).

Thanks A LOT, After School Special people!! And I mean it...


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