Let me buy you a shot
Even though Bill and his friend Chelsea wound up coming over Friday and we had a few beers, I still got up at 7:00 on Saturday (it's a miracle) and got ready for my trip to NE Wisconsin for the wedding. I was out the door at 7:40 (it's another miracle). The trip there was pretty easy - just over 4 hours. RandMcNally.com said it would take 5.5 hrs, but they didn't know I was driving and I have a lead foot.
My friends almost passed out that I got there at noon and the wedding was at 3:00. I'm usually late for everything. I've missed many a' wedding ceremony, or walked in to one late. But, whatever.
Let's skip right to the reception, shall we? So, the last time I saw the best man and one of the groomsmen, I called them white trash and made fun of the one who had blue hair. I remember that night, but don't really remember that incident. They must have said something jerkish to me. Anyway, the one didn't have blue hair anymore, so I didn't recognize right away. I ordered a bottle of beer instead of the free tap beer they had and one of them said, "oh, I suppose you're too good for tap beer?" I just looked at him like he was joking and he reminded of who he was, without really saying what happened the last time we saw each other. I walked away. Later I was talking to the wife of one of them and she said it wasn't a big deal, that both her husband and the other guy are mouthy & sarcastic when they drink. So I bought shots for them. Then they were like long lost old friends. They even bought drinks for me. So, I figured out how to make peace in Wisconsin - just buy shots.
It was fun, but nothing really too eventful to write about. The drive home took 5.5 hours - I'm not sure why RandMcNally.com had me take a different way home, but it took a lot longer. Boo.
Oh, I honked at the same lady twice yesterday on the way home. There was a line of us in the left (passing) lane, passing a long line of slow drivers. This was over the course of probably 20 miles. Whenever this bitch behind me could get in the right lane, she would zoom past me, then get stuck behind the slow guy, have to slow down and get behind me again. She did it over & over. SO annoying. Then, about an hour later, she was still in my same group of cars and she cut me off, so I honked. Then she did it again and I screamed "learn how to drive, you stupid bitch!" I like thinking the dumb person ahead of me is looking in their rearview mirror and can read my lips, so they realize my rage at their stupid driving. Sometimes I mouth out "MOVE OVER" or "HURRY UP" or "I HATE YOU." It makes me feel a little better.
My friends almost passed out that I got there at noon and the wedding was at 3:00. I'm usually late for everything. I've missed many a' wedding ceremony, or walked in to one late. But, whatever.
Let's skip right to the reception, shall we? So, the last time I saw the best man and one of the groomsmen, I called them white trash and made fun of the one who had blue hair. I remember that night, but don't really remember that incident. They must have said something jerkish to me. Anyway, the one didn't have blue hair anymore, so I didn't recognize right away. I ordered a bottle of beer instead of the free tap beer they had and one of them said, "oh, I suppose you're too good for tap beer?" I just looked at him like he was joking and he reminded of who he was, without really saying what happened the last time we saw each other. I walked away. Later I was talking to the wife of one of them and she said it wasn't a big deal, that both her husband and the other guy are mouthy & sarcastic when they drink. So I bought shots for them. Then they were like long lost old friends. They even bought drinks for me. So, I figured out how to make peace in Wisconsin - just buy shots.
It was fun, but nothing really too eventful to write about. The drive home took 5.5 hours - I'm not sure why RandMcNally.com had me take a different way home, but it took a lot longer. Boo.
Oh, I honked at the same lady twice yesterday on the way home. There was a line of us in the left (passing) lane, passing a long line of slow drivers. This was over the course of probably 20 miles. Whenever this bitch behind me could get in the right lane, she would zoom past me, then get stuck behind the slow guy, have to slow down and get behind me again. She did it over & over. SO annoying. Then, about an hour later, she was still in my same group of cars and she cut me off, so I honked. Then she did it again and I screamed "learn how to drive, you stupid bitch!" I like thinking the dumb person ahead of me is looking in their rearview mirror and can read my lips, so they realize my rage at their stupid driving. Sometimes I mouth out "MOVE OVER" or "HURRY UP" or "I HATE YOU." It makes me feel a little better.
posted by Kiddo78 at
9:58 PM
5 Comments:
I have ridiculous road rage.I feel behind the wheel of my car I am safe to give dirty looks and say mean things about them.But then I feel stupid when that same person is in back of me in line at cub.One time I actually whispered under my breath "for being in such a hurry and stealing my parking spot,it is funny you are behind me.Too bad she probably thought I was looney for mumbling to myself.
By
Unknown, at 7:58 AM
I live in Wisconsin.
I would not do a shot at a wedding ! even if it was the VFW.
not really ladylike.
and I don't do the chicken dance either, even though it's mandatory at WI weddings.
By
Anonymous, at 9:46 AM
I love yelling at people in my car. I'm not so good at it in person, though. Only sometimes.
By
ab, at 6:02 PM
i love that buying them shots fixed everything. I think that would fix things in a lot of places, not just wisconsin.
By
Christine, at 9:54 AM
WI may be right next to MN, but the 2 states are lightyears apart.
I am always telling other driver that they're retarded. I usually say it calmly, though. It gives me a feeling of sheer satisfaction that even in the shadow of their retardedness I am able to remain calm.
By
hot babe, at 10:31 AM
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