Dating Misadventures: Minneapolis Style

Okay, so my particular experiences don't really have anything to do with Minneapolis except that they all take place here, but I realized that I haven't done any commenting on recent dating disasters.

What is my problem??

So, cute Ryan decided that he needed "ME" time and is now only hanging out with his straight girlfriends, flying for Northwest and working at the tanning salon. Good for him. He wasn't that cute w/out his baseball cap on anyway. *AND* he prefers the suburbs to the city. Gag. F'him.

Erik, the cute U of MN boy, called me last week to invite me to coffee at Vera's (the little gay coffee house on Hennepin Ave). I would really like to see him again, but I already had plans with another Eric I met. I would have rather hung out with U of MN Erik. After regretfully declining, I told him to call me the next time he had a night open - he seemed disappointed, but hey - he only gave me last minute notice. I text msg'd him a couple days ago and haven't heard back. His friend Emily told me that he likes me and wants to see me again -- yeah, I'll believe that when my phone rings. If you remember, Erik is the one who said "we have to pretend to be boyfriends" when that white trash guy with a missing tooth kept bugging me at the bar. You can read about that night here.

The other Eric I mentioned and I met online. I know, I know...But I was really bored and tired of sitting home alone late one night. SO, anyway, he's pretty cute - 23. We met at my place last Monday night and went to Blockbuster, where we rented Raising Helen, good movie, btw (Kate Hudson is my celebrity girlfriend). Then we went to Green Mill in Uptown and got appetizers (I paid since I'm older) and a couple beers. Well, I had a couple beers - he couldn't get served b/c he forgot his ID and looks about 20. Anyway, we watched the movie and made out. He's pretty cute, but a little on the femmy side for me. I usually like 'em pretty butch...Anyway, he called the next day to ask if I wanted to go out that night -- the same night U of MN Erik later asked me to go to Vera's with him -- so, I agreed. We went to the chicken (college-aged gay boys) bar, The Saloon. *NOTE: I kinda miss being a chicken. The supplies are unlimited.* Some ugly random bought Eric a shot and I told him that he should thank him. The ugly random wound up sitting on the other side of Eric at the bar and they proceeded to talk, face-to-face, for the next 20 minutes while I just sat there. I got up and left. So, that's the end of him. For my emotions at that point, think Joan Crawford at the Pepsi board meeting...."DOoooooon't FUCK with me, fellasssss!!"

So then Sunday night, after my Mom's 65th birthday party in Lake City, I got back to Minneapolis and took a cab to The Bolt for our usual Sunday beer bust. Bill wound up running in to an old friend, James, who just returned to Minneapolis from Green Bay, WI, after he & boyfriend broke up. We went to The 19 Bar and then to my house. James is pretty cute, btw, and 25. I went to bed and he had the choice of sleeping on my couch bed with Bill (his friend of a few years) or with me in my room. He chose the couch, which was fine with me. Later he said it was too uncomfortable and came to my room. We made out for a while (god, I'm going to hell). I had to take him to Anoka - about 30 minutes away - the next day and we exchanged phone numbers. He actually didn't have his keys to get in, but wanted to wait there for his roommate to get home. So I called later to see if he got in okay, which he did (by climbing up to the balcony and almost getting arrested). So, I left it at, "Well, you've got my number -- call me whenever." Then, he was out the other night with some old, ugly guy!!! We only said hi. Bill said that James told him it was a blind date, but they left together! I was thorougly insulted and disgusted. Again, insert Joan Crawford comment here. I guess he wants a sugar daddy. Plus, he sang that "I will be your hero" song by Enrique, which gets me every time. And he sang it well and looked really cute. So, that made me want to do about 86 shots. Fucker.

What is with my dating luck??? I think I speak for most single, gay, over 25-year-olds when I humm, "It's a hard knock life for us...." (And, yes, I know it's not the greatest for you breeders, either....)

And the misadventures continue...