Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Coach is for little people

I got spoiled when I worked for Keane and traveled so much. My frequent flyer miles always allowed me to upgrade to first class. Well, when booking my travel to NYC recently, I was faced with a dilemna. Either fly Northwest and deal with a 2-hour layover in Detroit; pay the same and fly directly to JFK on Sun Country; or pay $200 more and fly directly on Northwest. I opted for the "pay less - direct to JFK" on Sun Country flight. That was a mistake.

Actually the flight there wasn't too bad. Probably because liquor was involved.

The flight home was HORRID. It was pure misery.

I requested an aisle seat and got a window. For the first time in coach history, all three seats were occupied, meaning there were two people (a 20-something couple) between me and the aisle. I don't usually need to use the facility while flying, so wasn't too concerned.

The flight attendant announced that there were still two first class seats available for $75. I thought about it and decided I would be able to handle the 2 hours in coach. After all, I was just reading a book and not all together uncomfortable.

We sat in line on the runway forever waiting to take off. The captain announced that we'd be sitting there another forty minutes. Suddenly my claustrophobia overwhelmed me and the chair in front of me felt as if it was crushing my poor long legs. I had to get out of that chair. I rang the service bell and attendant said she wouldn't be able to get me to first class until we were in the air. I felt as if it wouldn't be worth it at that point.

The feeling of wanting to crawl out of my skin and escape that confined place did not go away until we landed. Even reading didn't distract the panic of being trapped. I couldn't even get up to move to first-class, much less just stretch my legs, during the flight b/c the attendants had their carts out, then the people next to me were sleeping...To top it off, the dude of the couple was farting the whole time and it was putrid.

As Carol Burnett says, "it was a nightmare. A NIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTMAAAAARRRRRE!!!!!!!"

Never flying coach again. It's too crowded back there, the food sucks and the booze ain't free. Yick.

Get me out of here!!!


  • As soon as they announce the opportunity to upgrade, you run up to them & throw your visa at them. Worth it every time.

    By Blogger hot babe, at 4:25 PM  

  • Holy crap, that sounds awful. Nice description though. I could totally see your hell. Also, nice Carol Burnett reference. I could totally hear her screaming.

    Happy Holidays!

    By Blogger Twinkie, at 12:42 AM  

  • I hate, hate, hate flying!
    For us big boys, it's torture on the legs.
    Plus I ALWAYS get sick when I fly. But this year, I'm taking Airborne, not letting the little hole-thingy blow air in my face, and if anyone starts sneezing or coughing anywhere near me I'm spraying Lysol Disinfectant Spray directly in his or her face.

    Have a great holiday!!

    By Blogger denverboy, at 2:49 PM  

  • I want to be one of you; the people that I pass that hiss at you in First Class. They hiss because they know you are beneath them; that, and the fact that they have also had two vodka tonics while you were waiting in line behind the man who looked like and elf and wanted to talk Lord of the Rings with the ticket lady.

    By Anonymous duane, at 6:06 PM  

  • Did you ever see the Seinfeld when Elaine tries to sneak into First Class?

    By Blogger VeryApeAZ, at 1:31 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home